A Weekly Report on the State of the Weed (And the Bureaucracy That Surrounds It)

Friday, November 28, 2025

It has been a week. We are all recovering from the Holiday of Mandatory Gratitude. We are eating leftovers. We are trying to remember why we agreed to host Uncle Gary. And in the background, the cannabis industry—that strange, half-legal, half-cursed economic engine—has been grinding its gears. It feels like reading a thriller written by an accountant. Everyone is in danger, nobody is communicating, and the stakes are impossibly high, yet the action consists entirely of people filing paperwork and suing each other. Here is what happened while you were staring at the cranberry sauce. I. The Hemp Situation (A Slow-Motion Car Crash) You know that feeling when you are carrying a stack of plates that is too high, and you know you are going to drop them, but you haven't dropped them yet? That is the $28 Billion Hemp Market right now. • The Stakes: 320,000 jobs. Real human beings with rent to pay. • The Action: Retailers in Virginia and Georgia are clearing shelves preemptively, like villagers hiding their valuables before the Vikings arrive. • The Hope: Rep. Nancy Mace has a repeal bill. It is gathering signatures. It is the only thing standing between an industry and a cliff. It is a uniquely American absurdity: We legalized the CBD gummy (shaped like a bear, calm) and are now panicking about the THC hemp gummy (shaped like the same bear, slightly less calm). II. The Men in Robes Are Whispering (SCOTUS) The Supreme Court—a group of people who I assume have never purchased a pre-roll in a parking lot—has scheduled a private meeting. They are looking at the Cannabis Banking Case. If they take it, it changes everything. It means federal access. It means insurance. It means dispensaries stop paying their employees with duffel bags full of cash like they are characters in Grand Theft Auto. Meanwhile, in Florida, they threw out 200,000 signatures for legalization. Just tossed them. Like expired coupons. But the measure is still alive for 2026, because the people of Florida are nothing if not persistent. III. The Kids Are Alright (They Are Just Not Drinking) Green Wednesday (the day before Thanksgiving) used to be a niche holiday. Now it is a cultural event. • The Data: Sales up 40% Year-To-Date. • The Shift: Gen Z is looking at a beer and saying, "No thank you. That makes me sad and bloated." They are picking up the gummy. They are picking up the seltzer. Somewhere, a beer executive is weeping into his tie. He thought he sold a beverage. He actually sold a coping mechanism, and the market found a better one. IV. The Map is a Quilt Made by a Madman If you look at the regulations state-by-state, you will get a migraine. • New York: Governor Hochul signed a "modernization" bill. It allows reciprocity. It makes things easier. It is a rare moment of competence. • Massachusetts: Doubled the possession limit. Because apparently, we need to carry more. • New Jersey: Is looking at psilocybin (mushrooms) with a cautious eye. • Michigan: Is suing over a tax hike that could cost $100 million. It is progress, but it is lumpy progress. It is two steps forward, one step into a rake. V. A Note on Digital Security (The STIIIZY Breach) We learned this week that STIIIZY—the vape giant—had a data breach. 380,000 customers. Names. Dates of birth. Purchase histories. This is the new anxiety. It is not just "will I get arrested?" It is "will hackers know exactly how many Blue Dream pods I bought in February?" VI. The Conclusion So, what is the story? The story is that the industry is growing up. And growing up is painful. It involves lawyers. It involves data breaches. It involves waiting for the Supreme Court to decide if you are a legitimate business or a criminal enterprise. But the momentum is there. The kids are buying weed instead of booze. The states are fighting for tax revenue. The train has left the station. It is on fire, and the conductor is arguing with the passengers, but it is moving.

Regulatory & Legal Updates (Week Ending Nov 28, 2025) • Federal/SCOTUS: Supreme Court scheduled private conference regarding cannabis banking case certiorari. • Hemp Ban: Rep. Nancy Mace's repeal bill gaining co-sponsors; 320k jobs at risk; $28B market valuation threatened. • Florida: 200k signatures invalidated; 2026 ballot initiative remains active. • New York: "Modernization Bill" signed. Key provisions: 2-year medical cards, out-of-state reciprocity, lower grow age. • Michigan: Industry lawsuit filed against state regarding new tax implementation (est. $100M impact). Market Trends & Sales Data • Green Wednesday Performance: • +40% YTD sales growth. • Category leaders: THC Beverages, Edibles, Pre-rolls (+50%). • Demographic Shift: Gen Z showing marked preference for cannabis over alcohol. • International Markets: • Germany: Increased medical cannabis import quotas. • Canada: Q1 2025 Wholesale: $693M CAD. Net: $66.6M CAD. • Quebec: Resumption of vape sales at SQDC. Data Security & Privacy • STIIIZY Breach: • Affected Users: ~380,000. • Data Exposed: PII (Names, DOB), Purchase History. • Implication: Increased scrutiny on dispensary data retention policies. State-Level Movements • Decriminalization: Bills advancing in AL, IA, PA, SC. • Washington D.C.: Plan announced for 40 regulated dispensaries by EOY. • New York: License cap increased to 625 for 2025; $30k grants available for CAURD (Conditional Adult-Use Retail Dispensary) licensees.